I’m injecting a bit of personal development into this lesson! Boy, what I learned over the weekend at a seminar was unbelievably amazing. I learned so much about how human beings communicate, and since then, I’ve applied it to my life and it has worked miracles! Here are the systems.
I’m injecting a bit of personal development into this lesson! Boy, what I learned over the weekend at a seminar was unbelievably amazing. I learned so much about how human beings communicate, and since then, I’ve applied it to my life and it has worked miracles! Here are the systems.
Here are the systems….
Visual (V)
People who are visual often stand or sit with their heads and/or bodies erect, with their eyes up. They will be breathing from the top of their lungs. They often sit forward in their chair and tend to be organised, neat, well – groomed and orderly. They are often thin and wiry. They memorise by seeing pictures and are less distracted by noise. They often have trouble remembering verbal instructions because their minds tend to wander. A visual person will be interested in how something LOOKS. Appearance are important to them.
Auditory (A)
People who are auditory will often move their eyes sideways. They breathe from the middle of their chest. They typically talk to themselves and can be easily distracted by noise (some even move their lips when they talk to themselves). They can repeat things back to you easily, they learn by listening and usually like music and talking on the phone. They memorise by steps, procedures and sequences (sequentially). The auditory person likes to be TOLD how they’re doing and responds to a certain tone of voice or set of words. They will be interested in what you have to say.
Kinesthetic (K)
People who are kinesthetic (K) will typically be breathing from the bottom of their lungs, so you’ll see their stomach go in and out when they breathe. They often move and talk very slowly. They respond to physical rewards and touching. They also stand closer to people than a visual person. They memorise by doing or walking through something. They will be interested in something if it “feels right or if you can give them something they can grasp.
Auditory Digital (AD)
This person will spend a fair amount of time talking to themselves. They will want to know if something “makes sense”. The auditory digital person can exhibit characteristics of the other major representational system.
Now, let’s read the text and see if using these systems can help?
How to get your point across
Imagine this situation. You’re at your very first job interview. The interviewer asks you to talk about yourself. You look down, you don’t know where to start and you can’t think what to say. There’s an awkward silence and you start to panic. Now imagine another situation. A friend makes a comment that upsets you. In the first instance you say nothing. But then you feel yourself getting angry and you explode and tell them what you really think!
Sounds familiar? Well, you;re not alone. We all have difficulty in expressing ourselves sometimes – we struggle to find the right words or our emotions get in the way. Yet effective communication is perhaps the most important life skills, particularly at work. Employers are often looking to hire people with strong interpersonal skills; they want people who will work well in a team and be able to communicate effectively with colleagues, customers and clients. And interpersonal skills are not just important in the workplace. Our personal and social lives can also benefit. People will good interpersonal skills are usually perceived as optimistic, calm and confident – qualities that are often appealing to others.
If we are more aware of how we interact with others, and remember to practise, we can all improve our ability to communicate. Here are our top four tips.
Tip 1 Think it through It’s often difficult to come up with the right words on the spur of the moment, so give some thought to what you want say. For instance, before an interview, think of answers to possible questions or say them out loud. Even better, try rehearsing with a friend. If you have to give an opinion, pause to organise your thoughts before you start to speak.
Tip 2 Be assertive Being assertive means expressing your ideas in a way that doesn’t offend others. At the same time, it means speaking your mind without being afraid of what people might think. If you feel yourself getting angry or upset, take a deep breath and calm yourself. if necessary, take a short break from the conversation and come back to it when your head is clearer.
Tip 3 Remember to listen Too often we’re so busy trying to get across our opinions that we forget to listen to what others have to say. Communications is a two – way process, which means trying to see the other person’s point of view. Ask questions to help you understand or summaries what they’ve just said. If you show you’re prepared to listen to others, they’re much more likely to listen to you.
Tip 4 Watch your body language A lot of communication is non – verbal – more than 50% in fact. If someone has their arms folded, they probably feel defensive or aggressive. Facial expressions can tell us what a person is thinking, too. It’s important to interpret these signals, and to be aware of your own body language. Sit calmly, keep eye contact – and remember to smile while you speak.Gateway B2+
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Arsenio's ESL Podcast 
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