Motive. Motive is your reason for doing something. It’s the “why” that motivates “what.”
The motive that inspires the greatest trust is genuine caring — caring about people, caring about purposes, caring about the quality of what you do, caring about society as a whole. Think about it: Are you going to trust someone who could really care less about you? Or about work or about principles, or values, or anyone or anything else?
This is a very interesting story I’m going to tell you about the above statement. I have a friend, who I’m “KINDA” seeing, but when things go south, she disappears. There’s no communication, she simply ignores — just like my ex for like 11 years ago.
One of the darkest times in my life was when I constantly tried calling my ex to see if she’s ok, and she never picked up my phone. I knew she was around my phone 24/7, but she just didn’t want to pick it up. I finally talked to her and after she mocked me on the phone, I got so angry and began weeping out loud. My mother came upstairs, grabbed the phone and said, “Arsenio will talk to you later.” And my mom then left the room. It was the perfect mother moment…..but these are the glimpses of what this particular individual is showing.
After a complete lapse of judgement, I messaged her on a few occasions. Now, you guys know me well enough that I’m not a chaser. I don’t chase a soul. I sent maybe 3-5 messages throughout the day, and she didn’t read them. At night I sent a message saying, “good night…I know you’re ignoring me.”
Reply: “yes, good night.”
That reminded me of December 2008. The fact that the other person is so selfish to the point that they know what they’re doing and it’s wrong on the party, yet they’re doing it anyways, is completely unfair, childish, and ignorant. Not only that, but that was the second time.
So, what will I do? Taste of her own medicine? Or just move on?
Doesn’t really matter at this point. I’ve accepted fate….
Clearly, motive matters, and the motive of caring will do more than anything else to build credibility and trust. But what if you genuinely don’t care? What if your real motive is profit or accumulation or recognition — period? What if you really don’t care about customers or employees, family or friends, people on the streets and things around you?
If you really don’t care — and you don’t want to care — that’s fine. But you need to understand that you will pay a tax because of it.
You may think you’re already getting good results, but you need to ask yourself a bigger question: what am I leaving on the table?
Stephen Covey’s Speed of Trust
So, if you really don’t care — and you have no intent to change — you’re generally much better off being transparent about it and simply recognizing that you’re paying a tax because of it.