Some things can’t be changed. I completely understand. Last year I saw three significant departures, and going back to my blog, I’m now looking back on my previous self — terrified.
I literally have my best friend in New York and a good friend in Australia. The others come and go as they will…more labeled as acquaintances. 2017 was a rough year. There were days of emotional turmoil and even a three-day-period when I fell under a trance of melancholy. Not good. I pushed for dead-end relationships and that’s what needs to be cleaned up going into the latter stages of the year. Sure, I met two friends (before one vanished) and I still have one that’s up and running. In terms of meeting people around Bangkok, I think it will happen in due time, but I’m preparing for that massive change now.
Family
Yikes! What a disaster of a category this is. Haha! A brother who has always hated me (thank you), two sisters who don’t speak to me (typical), a mother who has never tried calling me in the last five years of living here in Thailand (why so serious?), and an entire family that’s completely jealous of what I’m doing with my life. However, they can do the same thing.January 6th, 2018
As you can see in the link, WOW! That’s some pretty scary language coming from a now mentor/coach. Just amazing how I was able to turn it around entirely.
What did I do? Well, from my friend Waii (who left in May, came back and left again for a long time), to another girl named Zern (was a relationship then dropped it), and lastly — my friend Alissa (who completely disappeared to the middle of this year). Looking at what had happened before, I absolutely didn’t want to make the same mistake again this year. So, did I try adding in any friends? NOPE! Only close circle people.
In April, I lost a friend named Nazira, who lives in Bishkek. I lost another one from Indonesia and one late last year. I took out everything, and in my mind, I pretty much accepted that friends will absolutely come and go. I’m my biggest and bestest friend, and that’s the only person I can rely on.
However, who I have around me NOW is utterly amazing. Great people from head-to-toe. Life coaches, relationship coaches, mentors, graphic designers, new content writer……this year I did repeat the bullshit I had done in the past (which is just letting people into my close circle). People who are outside my circle will stay outside my circle. The great people who are in my circle will never depart because they’ve become my oxygen and they’re not selfish. The people who I had let inside my circle (closed circle) last year were incredibly selfish. They didn’t care about the relationship….only their person needs.
One more example would be a friend from Japan. Yeah, she came into my life as a language exchange buddy who I developed a REMARKABLE companionship with. After that, she had become distance, which is what women normally do, and then that last message came: “Arsenio, I can’t message you anymore. I’m going to America tomorrow to meet my boyfriend.
“You can’t talk to me anymore but you still have a husband and you’re going to meet a boyfriend in another country?
Arsenio
Yeah, ridiculous. She left March this year, and this happens a lot with my Japanese friends (not holding an entire country accountable for some individual actions, but it’s the last time I’ll ever let someone in my closed circle).
Over to you.
- Who do you have in your circle who’s taking, rather than giving?
- What new companions and professionals can you add to your closed circle and drop into the outer circle?
- Are you able to recognize those who will invest in you?
- Is your family too toxic to overcome that you want to distance yourself? If so, how can you start trimming the time that you’re with them?
- Are you investing too much into your family that’s not being reinvested in you?
- Make a list of the people who are giving and a list of people who are taking.
Listen to “Family & Friends: Goals for 2019!” on Spreaker.https://widget.spreaker.com/widgets.js
Arsenio's ESL Podcast 
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