Touch a button and hear, at every level of your life, the iron doors shutting out the Past – the dead yesterdays. Touch another and shut off, with a metal curtain, the Future – the unborn tomorrows. Then you are safe – safe for today! . . . Shut off the past! Let the dead past bury its dead . . . Shut out the yesterdays which have lighted fools the way to dust death . . . The load of tomorrow, added to that of yesterday, carried, makes the strongest falter. Shut off the future as tightly as the past . . . The future is today . . . . There is no tomorrow. The day man’s salvation is now. Waste of energy, mental distress, nervous worries dog the steps of a man who is anxious about the future . . . Shut close, then, the great fore and aft bulkheads, and prepare to cultivate the habit of a life of ‘day-tight-compartments.’ ” – Dale Carnegie
When I read this a few days ago, I had weight lift off my shoulders. It was a vortex of melancholy. I was sitting on my bed, hunched over, and these thoughts started bearing down on me. I get worked up when jobs send me jobs, stay quiet for about a week, then I have to ask them, “what happened?” and when I do, they say “sorry, they chose another teacher.”
This is very infuriating, as what I’ve said a many times before, so I took charge. I decided to email them back and I went on a clean, concise rant before blocking the email.
I won’t sit around and weight for people to choose me at the end of the stick because of obvious reasons.
I woke up the next morning and said, “what have I done?!” But, in the end, did I want to work for a place like that anyways? Absolutely not.
So what did I do? I was succumbed by worry – worry that didn’t make any sense. I look at my bank accounts and say, “I’m actually pretty good right now.” I look at my income for this month, and I’m actually in a pretty good surplus. So what the hell is it that I’m worried about?
I had to revert to the manual. The future, and thinking about all the what ifs, will drive us insane. It drives a lot of people to insanity, depression, and death. As all of you have heard a many of times, we can only control the things that are happening at that moment – nothing else. We get so caught up in the “what’s going to happen next month? I don’t have anything coming up? Omg. I’m in trouble!” However, this has happened so much in terms of my life even back in Australia.
I was a dental temp and boy, during the Christmas holidays, I was completely out of money. I had all my money in an account I had no access to and banks were closed for like 2 weeks. Not only that, but being a dental temp, a lot of offices are on vacation. It picked back-up (obviously after Christmas), but my life was never in real danger, nor is it here (given the fact that expenses are much cheaper). I know what I’m doing and I know where I’m going in life right now, so the goal is to stay focused.