How To Spur People On To Success

There was a man by the name of JoJo, who was my next door neighbour years ago back in Las Vegas.  He was an interesting guy to say the least, but before he set off to church one Sunday morning, he stood in my living room giving me and my mother a lecture.  It went something like this.

“Look what’s happening around America.  The African American community, which is our community, is the worst community of all America because instead of being happy about one’s success, they find ways to tear their own people down to join misery again.  However, if you look at Mexicans, they encourage the hell out of each other because they want to see their own people succeed.” – JoJo

Now that I think about it – my brother, who’s always been the antagonist, is one of those people who would LOVE to see me fail.

This doesn’t revolve around just the African American community, but African communities are completely ravaged with extreme hate that leads, and have lead, to genocides.  This really makes me sit down and scratch my head, because countries like Maldives are unbelievably fascinating to me – given the fact that the government is so “pro” people and everyone gets along.  There’s no violence on the streets or even muggings…..but why?

While I was in Vietnam, two people would collide while riding mopeds, get up, put each others’ arms on one another and ask if they’re ok before going on about their day.

But this is probably just the way they’re programmed.

Let’s get back to success, where LeBron James, who’s a prolific basketball player, is hated immensely in the African American community.

How can we begin to program ourselves and wish someone success, regardless or religion, creed, or color?

“Pete Barlow was an old friend of mine. He had a dog-and-pony act and spent his life traveling with circuses and vaudeville shows. I loved to watch Pete train new dogs for his act. I noticed that the moment a dog showed the slightest improvement, Pete patted and praised him and gave him meat and made a great to-do about it.
That’s nothing new. Animal trainers have been using that same technique for centuries.
Why, I wonder, don’t we use the same common sense when trying to change people that we use when trying to change dogs? Why don’t we use meat instead of a whip? Why don’t we use praise instead of condemnation? Let us praise even the slightest improvement. That inspires the other person to keep on improving.” – Dale Carnegie

Praise!

Yes, that simple little compliment can change one’s life! I’ve seen teachers steer students away from suicide by telling them that they “are” enough.

One afternoon class had finished at the Dental Faculty Practice at the College of Southern Nevada.  My teacher, by the name of Mrs. Mulcahy, pulled me aside and said, “Arsenio, can I talk to you?”  I stood over the table where she was standing, just in front of the projector and she told me, “Arsenio, you can’t teach personality.  What you have right now is a gift and it’s going to take you a long way.”  Because of the praise by professor Mulcahy, I went on to be one of the finest dental assisting temps in all of Sydney, Australia.  That personality has flourished into something so magnificent and so wonderful that people in almost 100 different countries tune into my show.  That praise I never got from any of my direct or indirect family, or friends.

“Praise is like sunlight to the warm human spirit; we cannot flower and grow without it. And yet, while most of us are only too ready to apply to others the cold wind of criticism, we are somehow reluctant to give our fellow the warm sunshine of praise.” – Psychologist Jess Lair

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